Guest post: Huel diet diary

This is another guest post from Roger:


Even the name is calculated to put you off.

The Frau announced that diet number 5 was Huel, which in description is astronaut food. You are provided with a large container of something akin to sawdust; you add water and drink the resulting porridge. One day a week you are allowed to eat “normally” by way of respite, which reinforces the suspicion that Huel is Horrid [alliteration].


Imagine my surprise to learn that, with judicious use of real bananas, strawberrries etc., it is more than palatable. By design it is nourishing in exactly the right quanitites and proportions. Hurrah.

So we lived this way for 4 weeks (overlooking a lapse during a trip to London, and another one during Pygmalion, and another one during the King Arthur teams event in Pantydwr). I spent a lot of time feeling somewhere between hungry and satisfied, but it was tolerable.

Being momentarily serious, the thing about astronaut food is that one doesn’t eat meals, and meals represent those fixed points of the day by which one lives life – a cup of sawdust porridge in front of the TV cannot substitute for a plate of something, even if the “something” is some dietary aberration.

So it would not be possible to live life this way long term, so it’s not really very tolerable. The odd day, maybe. On the other hand, I lost something like 7lb in a month (or 3.2Kg if you are old-fashioned), so it was pretty effective. As you know, I have devised an objective scoring scheme for diets, so we can now judge the Huel diet. I award $T=3$, $E=8$, giving the scores to date:

Month Regime Loss (lb) T E M, α=0.5 M, α=1 M, α=1.5
January Low carb 7 3 8 7 11 15
February Slow carb -12 1 0 1 1 1
March SSSS 3 8 5 10.5 13 16.5
April 5-2 0 8 2 9 10 11
May Astronaut 7 3 8 7 11 15

Next month is Mosley’s persuasive snake-oil, Happy Bacteria, but I’m still looking forward to my diet1.


1. Dieting without tears or willpower, Roger Boyle, Y Lolfa, forthcoming 2018. Dr Boyle exhibits a dietary regime that does not alter what you eat, or when you eat it. Likewise what you drink and smoke. The results are astounding. Testimonials: “Roger is my Hero”, H Dee; “He treats food as bathos, and drink with antistrophe.” L Blissett.

Roger home


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